Podcast

Episode 438

Oct 14, 2022

Are you doing too much when client bring up an issue? Allissa and Michael discuss how to step back and look at what your client is asking for.

Listen to "E438: Did the Client Ask for That?" on Spreaker.
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EPISODE 438

Weekly Roundup

Discussion Topic

  • Did the Client Ask for That?

Quick Tips

  • “Kindness is an investment. Meanness is an expense.” - Carl Richards

Sponsors


Transcript: 

Sponsor message:

This episode is sponsored by ABMP, one of the many, many men... Many, many menefits, many, many benefits of ABMP membership is, let's talk about the magazine, Massage and Body Work magazine. It is an award-winning magazine included in print for all ABMP members and available free to the profession, to everyone, it's awesome, at massageandbodyworkdigital.com. We write the Blueprint for Success column. There are a bunch of other columns. It is a fantastic professional journal that includes techniques, in-depth features, video tie-ins to cover the issues that matter to professional body-workers. It is everything you could ever want in a professional magazine. You can learn more at massageandbodyworkdigital.com.

Michael Reynolds:

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Massage Business Blueprint podcast, where we help you attract more clients, make more money, and improve your quality of life. I'm Michael Reynolds.

Allissa Haines:

This right here is Allissa Haines.

Michael Reynolds:

And we right here are your hosts. Welcome. We're glad you're here today, and Andrew's already popping in on Facebook, joining us today on the live broadcast saying good morning. Good morning, Andrew. Glad you're here. Thank you.

Allissa Haines:

I really got to say I note that I think Andrew's in Colorado, so rock on you for being up at the crack of 7:00 AM to listen to our podcast.

Michael Reynolds:

Oh yeah, right on.

Allissa Haines:

Because I don't know that I could manage that.

Michael Reynolds:

I was in Colorado the last few days. I just got back last night.

Allissa Haines:

Sweet.

Michael Reynolds:

Beautiful area.

Allissa Haines:

Actually, that's good. You don't have anything for our weekly roundup, What Have You Been Reading? So instead, I want you to tell people what you were doing in Colorado.

Michael Reynolds:

Oh, sure. Okay. So I was attending a conference for financial advisors, which sounds really boring when I say it out loud, but as I was telling Allissa earlier before we started this morning, I'm a member of a network called XY Planning Network, which is a kind of like association, kind of like an ABMP for financial advisors, basically. It's an association for advisors that are more progressive, more tech-oriented, serve more accessibly younger people, all ages, but more accessible to people of all phases of their financial journey. I was telling Allissa that I'm really grateful to have found that community because the profession as a whole has lots of old-fashioned legacy stuff to kind of evolve out of, but this particular community is kind of a nice oasis of forward-thinking, progressive human-centered advisors. So I was speaking at that conference, I spoke on some systems, processes, helping other newer startups kind of hit the ground running with processes to help them grow and serve clients well. And yeah, that's what I've been doing.

Allissa Haines:

Yep. You skipped a part. Tell us about the award you won.

Michael Reynolds:

Okay. I won an award for community leader in the socially responsible and ESG investing space.

Allissa Haines:

What does ESG stand for?

Michael Reynolds:

Environmental, social, and governance. It is a way of aligning your investing values, or aligning your money with certain values in an effort to make a positive impact in the world in the areas of environmental impact, social impact, and corporate ethics and governance.

Allissa Haines:

Excellent. Thank you for sharing that with us.

Michael Reynolds:

Yeah, thanks for asking. How about you?

Allissa Haines:

I have been doing well. For my what I've been reading, this much, much, far, far less substance, let's say. I read a couple of heavy books in a row, so I switched it up and read the first book in a new beach-side cozy mystery series, thank very much.

Michael Reynolds:

Ooh, sounds juicy.

Allissa Haines:

There is just a special place in my heart for a little mystery series that takes place with a baker, or this woman is a tea shop owner, and the book is called Live and Let Chai, and the author is Bree Baker, and it's a delightful little murder mystery that takes place on the seaside. I love this whole genre, because it's always like a woman returning to her hometown and working, opening a little small business like this. And it's exciting because the detective has just moved to town as well, so they meet. I have already started the second book in the series. This was a very quick read and it was delightful, and that's all I have to say.

I realized that I was never into mysteries much when I was a kid because the ones I tried to read were too scary, and these are super light and they kind of go right along with my love and appreciation for Murder, She Wrote, which I just started watching from the beginning a couple months ago, and then Angela Lansbury passed away yesterday, and I would had just been telling a young person about Angela Lansbury and she's like, "I don't know who that is." And I was like, "Oh, the teapot from Beauty and the Beast." And she's like, "I think I would recognize the voice." But anyhow, RIP to Angela Lansbury.

Michael Reynolds:

I watched Murder, She Wrote as a kid.

Allissa Haines:

Yeah, it's good stuff. It's good, and re-watching it as an adult, because we were pretty young. It was on Sunday nights I think. And the first episode was that I watched was the first episode, the pilot, a couple months ago, and she's really spicy. Jessica Fletcher was a lot more spicy and flirty than I remembered, but that's something I hadn't like, yeah, I wouldn't have caught onto that when I was eight years old. She's a little bit of a spicy hottie widow, and I love it and appreciate it, and I realize that that is very much related to my love of these very light little mystery series. Anywho, Live and Let Chai, Bree Baker. I'm just going to close that window so we can move onto things of more substance.

Michael Reynolds:

All right, sounds good. I want to acknowledge someone, it says Facebook User, so I think something glitched or it's anonymous somehow, but says, "Good morning and congrats on your award, Michael." So thank you. I appreciate that. I can't see your name, I apologize, but I appreciate that on Facebook. All right, so who's next? We are going to talk a little bit. Hey, look, we're our sponsor today.

Allissa Haines:

We are one of our own sponsors, and you may or may not know this, but if you go to massagebusinessblueprint.com and you click on the little menu option, I think it says Resources, you would find a whole bunch of resources that we have created for you, everyone, free to download. And one of those things is an ebook, Marketing With Personality. Marketing is indeed the most effective and way more it... Blah, words hard, morning, words.

Michael Reynolds:

[inaudible 00:06:36].

Allissa Haines:

We're going to try that again. Marketing is most effective and way more fun when your message is a true reflection of you and why you love your work. Interacting with potential clients does not need to be a smarmy experience that leaves you feeling like a gross fraud. Genuine marketing is just sharing your message and connecting with the people who you wish to serve. If you need a little help, if you need a little bit of nudge, if you need to just build on your strengths and grow a clientele that you truly connect with and enjoy, we got your back, yo. Go to massagebusinessblueprint.com/personality. You will give us your name and your email and you will download our ebook and you will be delighted by that. And that is what I have to tell you about Marketing With Personality.

Michael Reynolds:

When you said gross fraud, I heard that as a gross frog. I'm like, "What? Gross frog?"

Allissa Haines:

You know, you don't want to be either.

Michael Reynolds:

Yeah, I think frogs are kind of cute though.

Allissa Haines:

That's fair.

Michael Reynolds:

Yeah. Anyway, all right. So with that, yes, go get the ebook. After you do that or maybe after this, come back and listen to our topic today, which Did the Client Ask for That?

Allissa Haines:

Yeah. So, this is one of those I'm not giving you an actual task, but I'm just talking about some communication stuff. So yesterday I spent the day with a friend who knows me very, very, very well. Okay, I spent the day with my ex-husband, someone who knows me very, very, very well, and we were hanging out and talking about mutual friends we had and one of his friends, and he said something and blah, blah, blah. We had this conversation about how if you want to know how to solve a problem, ask Allissa, because she'll tell you. I usually have some kind of answer or thoughts about something. I'm happy to tell other people how they should live their lives. I'm working on it. I'm much kinder about it now.

But I remember him telling his friend, "If you ask Allissa, she's going to tell you the truth. Going to be blunt, going to be clear." Much better nowadays at being kind and tactful about it, but I'm going to tell you the truth. And one of my past issues was that not only would I tell you what I thought and give you some ideas for solutions, but I would probably do stuff for you to solve the problem. I'd probably be like, "Oh, that's easy to fix. Let me help you with this whatever, X, Y, Z." And I've realized all this in the past several years, obviously, and a friend told me once, actually it was my office mate from a long time ago, said, "I have a question, I have a problem, but I only need you for brainstorming. I don't need you to do the things to fix this. I just need you to brainstorm with me so that I can do the things." And that was so illuminating the way she said that, that was really helpful to me. Thank you, Christina.

And also, it's a thing I have learned in the past few years that I tend to do and it burns me out. I want so much to help people that I will prioritize their needs over my own or I'll just do more. I'll enable, and I don't need to do that. If someone comes to me and wants my thoughts, I can give them my thoughts and not give them any actions. So, there you go. But having this conversation yesterday about how I've always got some thoughts and will tell you what to do and will tell you the truth, and then will go the extra distance to help you if you want that help, sometimes people don't want that help. And I've realized how this has overgrown into my massage work. So how many times have I over-treated a client or butted into something that they didn't really want me to help them handle? And the answer is so many times, so many times.

Here's some examples. If a client tells me about a rash, just because they want me to know they have a rash, and I go down the rabbit hole of like, "Well, have you changed detergents? Were you outdoors where there could be poison ivy?" 10 different things. Now, some of these questions are important if you're going to put your hands on somebody, but a lot of them, I don't need to say, "Well, if you've already tried hydrocortisone, check in with your doctor or pharmacist. Let them know you've already tried hydrocortisone, because there's a handful of other things." Sometimes I go too far, sometimes someone just tells me about a bruise because they don't want me to poke it, not because they want me to go nuts telling them about how Arnica works really well on bruises and wait five minutes for me to rummage around in my sample drawer for me to find them a sample to take home. Sometimes they just want me to know they have a bruise and not talk. They don't need my 27 ideas to make the bruise go away.

And this is not just about stuff that people inform us of, but are we over-treating and are we overdoing? The client just wants level one care and we are all about providing level 10 care, and is that necessary, or are you just annoying people? Even with things that we treat, like a client has a mild nagging low backache, on and off, they just want a massage to rub it. That's it. I worked down the low back, they feel better leaving my office. They relaxed and felt good on my table. But of course, my tendency is to go overboard and, again, give them Arnica to bring home with them, give them a bunch of stretches even though I know they're someone who's not going to do stretches, and then I'm assigning all of these things to them and they come back in and they're like, "Yeah, still just the mild nagging low back thing." And I'm like, "Well do your stretches?"

No, they didn't, because they don't want to do stretches. They just want to come in for a massage and have their low back worked on and maybe some related things and chill out of my table, and stop giving them homework, because they're going to feel bad about not doing it, and I'm going to feel like I'm not being effective. Refocus on what the client is actually telling you and clarify what they actually want from you. So for me, this has evolved into me saying, "Is that something you want help or more resources for, or are you just good where you're at? Or do you just want to let me know?" That's it.

If my low back client says, "Oh, I've been trying to do these stretches that a physical therapist recommended five years ago, or that my brother-in-law who's an OT recommended," if they open that up, then that is a good way for me to say, "Do you want me to email you a few stretches from my favorite PT on YouTube? Let me find the ones that I think are appropriate for you?" And if they say yes, that's great, and if they don't, eh. They might say yes and then not do the stretches. That's fine. Know that about them, don't nag them next time.

So, some things just need to be addressed verbally and not fixed. Which is what I think Emily just put, or no, that was Savanna. Oh, Savanna Bell Moore is listening. So, I'm going to talk about Savanna in a second. Very excited. So yeah, some things just need to be addressed and mentioned, and ask before you jump into fix-it mode. That is it. That's my entire topic.

Michael Reynolds:

Love it. I think this is hard for those of us that are constantly teaching, it's hard for us to turn it off, because you and I both spend most of our time like teaching and helping and solving and consulting, and it's hard to set that boundary, so I appreciate that. And Emily did mention on Facebook, "It's been so me in the past, giving advice that was never asked for." So Emily's sharing and commiserating with us that that's a struggle as well, and Savanna is throwing some hearts in the chat, so looks like appreciative there of your comments as well.

Allissa Haines:

I just needed to bring my page up because I wanted to make sure that I had the right links. So, if you guys have never met Savanna, Savanna's awesome. She runs a really great Facebook group called My Massage World. She teaches business and marketing skills, much like us, and she's probably the only person teaching business and marketing skills to whom I refer people, because her info is just spot on and lovely, and I agree with 98.7% of it, probably more than that. And if you're someone who has lots of employees, I usually send people To My Massage World and Savanna because she has, we focus on one person indie massage businesses, whereas Savanna does more. So anyhow, nice to spend my podcast referring out to another teacher, but I'm so excited that you're-

Michael Reynolds:

Hi, Savanna.

Allissa Haines:

... listening, Savanna. Thank you.

Michael Reynolds:

All right, wonderful. Well, thank you for that, Allissa.

Allissa Haines:

Yeah, and I think we have a couple more comments.

Michael Reynolds:

We do.

Allissa Haines:

Emily, "Yes, this has so been me in the past, giving advice that was never asked for."

Michael Reynolds:

Yeah, we did that one earlier.

Allissa Haines:

Yeah, and some feedback about asking for permission. Yeah, it's good to do that, and I think it applies in our personal lives too. And that was part of the conversation yesterday, how I no longer give my ex-husband and my stepdaughter advice without asking. I really try to hold it and say, "Do you want to hear my ideas on that or not?" And I am grateful for the friends who have modeled that behavior and taught that to me. So, thanks for your patience with me. All right, I'm done.

Michael Reynolds:

Right on. All right. So before we move on, let's show some love to our friends at The Original Jojoba Company.

Allissa Haines:

Yeah, man. So, as a matter of fact, let's start talking about The Original Jojoba Company with talking about how it doesn't stain your 100% cotton sheets. And this is relevant to me because I spilled a bunch of stuff on my sheets the other day, because for some reason I thought my massage table would be a good surface for me to refill my bottles on even, though it's not stable because it's not a hard surface. Anyhow, I'm a bit of a jack-hat and spilled a bunch of oil on, not oil, but jojoba liquid on my sheets, and it washed right out. Even though it then sat in my hamper for three days because I forgot to bring my laundry home that day. So, comedy of errors, but because jojoba doesn't stain my 100% percent cotton sheets, not a problem. I didn't lose the set. Nothing's rancid, nothing's gross.

It's non-allergenic, you can use that on any client and every client without fearing an allergic reaction. Jojoba doesn't go rancid, it doesn't contain triglycerides, it doesn't clog your pores. It's just a good product and you use so little of it. I was filling that bottle but I hadn't filled that bottle in like four weeks, because you use so little and it goes such a long way. My clients comment on how they love how their skin feels when they leave my office, because I don't use thick gross creams with all kinds of icky, I don't even want to say preservatives because they're just so horrible. Anyhow, slimy things that leave your skin feeling like it's wrapped in plastic wrap. My clients comment that they love how their skin feels when they leave my office.

You can get a 20% discount off the price of the product when you shop through our link at massagebusinessblueprint.com/jojoba. And I want to take note that if you're not on their email list, hop over to their website and do that. Get on their email list, because they've had lots of free shipping offers, they're going to start selling their I think holiday gift kits soon. It's just worth it. massagebusinessblueprint.com/jojoba.

Michael Reynolds:

All right, a few more comments came in on Facebook during that time. Andrew mentioned, "I appreciate that you take the time to create a movement protocol, though many practitioners and there is only so much we can do within our session."

Allissa Haines:

Yeah, and that's not my specialty, so I don't do a lot of that. But when it's appropriate and called for, I do.

Michael Reynolds:

And then Emily followed up and said, "Something I've learned to ask, 'Are you just wanting to share that with me, or are you looking for advice?' And this has saved me tons of energy and not feeling responsible to figure it out for them." That's great advice, Emily.

Allissa Haines:

Yeah, I do that with my kid, "Do you want to vent or do you want help solving this?" And yay for us being people who grow. It's making me crazy because I can't get my camera to focus right now. So, sorry about that, folks.

Michael Reynolds:

All right, quick tips.

Allissa Haines:

I don't have one. Do you have one?

Michael Reynolds:

Yeah, I'll share. So, this-

Allissa Haines:

You share that while I try to fix my camera.

Michael Reynolds:

All right. In our last two minutes of the broadcast, you're going to try and fix your camera. So, this was from the conference I mentioned earlier the... Sorry. So, I know most of you're listening on audio. Allissa is sticking her thumb up in the camera and it's totally distracting me, because it's like... Anyway, I'll stop.

Allissa Haines:

It worked, okay? It worked.

Michael Reynolds:

It worked. It did work. All right, so for the three people on camera today, you're welcome. So, quick tips. This is from the conference I mentioned earlier I went to a few days ago, the XY Planning Network Live Conference for financial advisors, and one of the speakers there was Carl Richards, who nobody listening is probably going to know, but he's kind of a big deal in the advisor community, does a lot of coaching, speaking, he's an author. And he spoke, he gave a keynote, and one of the phrases he's been using a lot lately is, and this is, the terms are intentionally money related because he's a money guy, "Kindness is an investment. Meanness is an expense."

That was a really cool way of phrasing it, because not just in various communities, but the world in general, there's a lot of meanness going around. I think we have seen that. And his thought, and I agree with, is every time you're mean, yeah, it may be fun to be gossipy and mean and jab at people in the moment or talk bad about someone. It may seem kind of fun, but it always, it's an expense to your wellbeing, I think, mentally and emotionally, and he kind of highlighted that. The more you're kind to people, the more you're making an investment in relationships, in your own wellbeing, in your own mental health. The more you're be being mean to people, the more it's an expense that you have to overcome. So that really stuck with me. I think it's a great way of phrasing it.

Allissa Haines:

Yeah, I'm going to be thinking about that for a while. Thank you, Michael.

Michael Reynolds:

Yeah. All right, are we good for today?

Allissa Haines:

We're done. This was a quickie, folks.

Michael Reynolds:

All right, wonderful. Well, let's wrap it up there then. Thanks so much. We had some new people joining us on Facebook today with comments. We appreciate that. As just a reminder, we haven't mentioned this for a while, most people listen on audio on the podcast, but if you ever want to join us live, we do broadcast this on Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter live Wednesdays at 9:00 AM Eastern. So if you want to pop on there and join us, you can post comments or questions as we go. You can also find us on the web anytime at massagebusinessblueprint.com, and you can email us at podcast@massagebusinessblueprint.com. We appreciate you being a listener and part of our community. Thanks for joining us today. We will see you next time.

Allissa Haines:

Bye.

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